June 11, 2017

So the past two weeks have been a struggle…we are very low on money, so much so that I am looking for a second job, and I haven’t had the opportunity to be picky with what I eat.  I’m still doing what I feel is a good job though, staying away from certain foods and trying to follow my diet.  And its paid off. I am down 5 lbs, and I fit into a dress I bought last summer that I didn’t fit into then.  Needless to say, I am thrilled.

One thing has been bothering me, however, and that is my feet/ankles.  Despite losing weight, I’m still 348lbs and that is a lot for my feet to carry, so they hurt.  This makes me not want to walk and remain sedentary.  But I will not.  I will continue this journey.

Whats different this time around is I have no choice in the matter – I’m looking at it as though I am sick (which isn’t hard cause I feel sick several times a day, every day).  I am doing what I can to cure my sickness.  That includes walking, swimming, dieting, etc.

I believe a second job will help.  Right now, I work from home and sit on my ass all day processing claims.  I’m looking for part time retail jobs that will require me to stay on my feet and walk around all of the shift.  I think that will go a long way in helping me break through from a sedentary lifestyle to a more active one.  Despite feeling it will help, I still am incredibly sad and conflicted because I feel I shouldn’t need to work two jobs to make ends meet.  It depresses me that I’m back where I was ten years ago, except one of the jobs I’m working should be enough based on my salary.  Life is just too expensive.

The thing is, I’d like to be able to afford more than hot dogs and baked beans, or as my dad calls them “poor people food”, and be able to afford fruits and vegetables in spades.  I don’t want to keep robbing Peter to pay Paul.  I’m sick of this bullshit.  So a second job it is.

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